Lots of Cute Little Jokes !!!
I was just sitting around doing nothing tonight. It's hard just doing nothing. You don't know when you're finished....
You've found Cyndi's page, which is just one stop before the institution. Lots of cute little jokes to make you smile. Read slowly and savor the flavor. Come on, smile!
Here They Come ~ Cute Little Jokes
How many centipedes does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Just one, because many hands make light work.
Why don't sharks eat lawyers?
Answer: Professional courtesy.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Why is Santa so jolly?
Answer: Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Why couldn't Noah catch any fish while he was on the ark?
Answer: Because he only had two worms.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Answer: Tiger has a better driver.
Why is cream more expensive than milk?
Answer: Because it's harder for cows to sit on the smaller bottles.
Why did the blonde stare at orange juice for two hours?
Answer: Because it said concentrate.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.
More Cute Little Jokes
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
Answer: She wanted to lay it on the line.
Question: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Answer: He heard the referee calling fowls.
Question: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
Answer: To get to the other slide!
Question: Why did the chicken scientist cross the road?
Answer: To invent the other side.
Question: What Do You Get When You Cross A Chicken And A Pit Bull?
Answer: Just The Pit Bull.
Question: How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
Answer: With a Cowculator
Question: What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Question: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Answer: Too many cheetahs
Question:What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Answer: Mice Krispies
Question: What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
Answer: A Golden Receiver!
Question:What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper?
Answer: Rough! Rough!
News Flash !! Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
A backwards poet writes inverse.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
If a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds?
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.” --- Winston Churchill
“Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” --- Anonymous
“Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
“If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.” --- Anonymous
“If you don’t think too good, don’t think too much.” --- attributed to Ted Williams by Tom & Ray Magliozzi of Car Talk.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” --- Spike Milligan
If quizes are quizzical, what are tests?
Borrow money from pessimists - they don’t expect it back. --- Stephen Wright
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. --- Steven Wright
Didja know? Firemen use the dog to find the fire hydrant.
VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Virtual reality is its own reward.
It's been fun! I love everybody, even the squirrelly ones !! Did you know that "desserts" is just "stressed" spelled backwards?
Happy DAZE, Cyndi
I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.
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