Karl: Happy Birthday to a sensational person ... who is still older than me!
Becca: Happy Birthday, Damon! I wouldn't say you're old......I'd say you were in a state of advanced maturity!
Allison: Happy Birthday to a man who looks great in spandex.
Jake: She's out there. She's coming for you. The Birthday Fairy strikes again.
Damon: What have we got here, models, millionaires and rock gods?
Becca: Since it's your birthday, we've done something special for you. We're all getting together to have a wild and crazy time... and we've voted you "designated driver."
Kitty: If you tell everyone I've gotten thinner... I'll say you've gotten younger! Happy Birthday!
Damon: Hi, beautiful! Thanks for visiting.
Jake: In life you're either the hammer or the nail, so the question is on your birthday, would you rather get hammered or get nailed?
Damon: All I want for my birthday is not to be reminded of my age.
Allison: There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
Carl: The fact that it's your birthday is just a coincidence. I was going to party anyway.
Kitty: We put candles on a pizza for your birthday.
Becca: It's a pleasure talking to you again.
Damon: You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day.
Portia: Y'know I wouldn't call you old......I'd call you chronologically challenged! Happy Birthday.
Damon: Do you know what the problem is with being 29? No one believes you're 29!
Jake: Life is beautiful. Keep the laughs coming.
Carl: Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Damon: Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Kitty: If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
Allison: Why do you have to "put your two cents in". . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Becca: Can you cry under water?
Kitty: Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Jake: If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Allison: If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Damon: How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Carl: Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Becca: Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Becca: Why did you just try singing the two songs out loud?
Allison: Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Damon: How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Allison: What disease did cured ham actually have?
Kitty: Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Becca: If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Jake: Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Kitty: My blog is my life.
Carl: Work is like a rodeo. You put up with a lot of bull and there's always some clown wanting all the attention.
Damon: Ride 'em cowgirl.
Kitty: Yoga keeps me flexible.
Jake: I come in new and exciting positions.
Kitty: In your dreams.
Jake: I could be a Friend with Privileges.
Becca: You're so vain, you probably think this room's about you.
Kitty: I only look innocent.
Jake: Dare to live your dreams.
Carl: I ♥ Desperate Housewives.
Allison: I ♥ chocolate.
Kitty: Hang in there. Moses was a basket case, too.
Portia: I can resist everthing, except temptation.
Kitty: I'm a 10 - The Rumors Are True.
Carl: Third base coach is waving me in.
Allison: Your partridge, my pear tree.
Damon: I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome.
Jake: Don't Assume I'm Not Into Cheap Mindless Fun.
Allison: Wild thing.
Carl: Clothing optional beyond this point.
Kitty: Stop the furry fun. The animals are acting up.
Jake: Just because it's Friday.
Portia: Full moon.
Allison: Club Sandwiches, Not Seals.
Damon: I majored in extreme surfing.
Portia: It's the Surfer Sam Birthday Invitational.
Jake: Free Surfing Lessons.
Portia: You could win the International Bellyflop Championships.
Carl: Talented in so many ways.
Kitty: I majored in Party.
Jake: Getting lucky ain't just for the Irish. ♣
Carl: This is my lucky shirt. ♣
Becca: Taken, except on spring break.
Allison:It's only cheating If you remember.
Becca: Talk to the paw.
Kitty: It's your birthday, So pucker up and kiss another year good-bye.
Damon: No money, no car, no job, but I'm in a band.
Portia: Naturally talented.
Allison: Single and ready to mingle.
Jake: Unleash your inner cowboy.
Becca: The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
Damon: My life is based on a true story.
Jake: Let's get shipwrecked.
Carl: Now holding auditions for the girlfriend position.
Portia: Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and might get back to you.
Carl: Under the competent and skilled direction of the Birthday Party Patrol.
Becca: Who let him in?
Damon: Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you. But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Carl: Effortless cool.
Portia: My Mom told me to choose friends who'd be a good influence on me. Aren't you glad I didn't listen?
Becca: Chicks Rule.
Jake: Lots of people send birthday cards with money in them. But I searched through every rack and there wasn't one like that. Oh, well, Happy Birthday.
Allison: Happy Birthday. You're another year more adorable.
Becca: Birthdays are fun. Birthdays are nifty. You're getting a card, instead of a gifty.
Carl: As they say out west, hope your birthday really kicks Butte.
Damon: Oh, thank you. Thank you. My undying gratitude is yours.
Becca: Don't let it go to your head.
Jake: These blue eyes need visual stimulation.
Portia: Love you guys.
Allison: Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Jake: I am the After Party.
Becca: I think we're done here. Happy endings. Bye.
I hope life brings you much success.