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Funny Football Jokes and Football Quotes
nfl team logos

All football fans go a little crazy. Great Coaches and Players score some winning jokes.
Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental. Doug Plank said this.

The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer. John Madden said this.

Football is easy if you're crazy as hell. This quote is from Bo Jackson

Maybe a good rule in life is never become too important to do your own laundry. And Barry Sanders gets the quote.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. Quote attributed to Archie Griffin.

nfl football players     nfl football players     nfl football players

nfl team logos

nfl team logos

funny table football
Clickin' gits 'er big.

And the score is?

nfl team logos

nfl team logos

Clickin' gits 'er big.

Too Much Information

funny ray charles
Clickin' gits 'er big.

Sounds good to me.

funny football
Clickin' gits 'er big.

This is going to be some close-up.

funny football John Kerry
Clickin' gits 'er big.

You can open your eyes now, John.

nfl team logos

nfl team logos

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
Frank Gifford

Pro football gave me a good perspective. When I entered the political arena, I had already been booed, cheered, cut, sold, traded, and hung in effigy.
Jack Kemp

One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.
Alan Shearer

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave Barry

OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?   happy face grin

I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.
Johnny Giles

Football Coaches Never Drop the Ball
snfl team logos

Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.
Vince Lombardi

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.
Mary McGrory

I learned that if you want to make it bad enough, no matter how bad it is, you can make it.
Gale Sayers

He had a God-given killer instinct.
Al Davis of the Oakland Raiders talking about George Blanda

When in doubt, punt!
John Heisman

nfl football players     nfl football players     nfl football players

Football Funnies

Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.
Duffy Daugherty

if winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
Vincent Lombardi

I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important -like a league game or something.
Dick Butkus

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
Joe Theismann

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.
Heywood Hale Braun

I'd catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.
Steve Henderson

Football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbalized, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time.
Arnold Mandell

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
Sue Lawley

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.
Terry Bradshaw

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
Elbert Hubbard

nfl football players     nfl football players     nfl football players

More Games to Play on a Football Field
Pavlov's Birds

An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field.

At the end of the summer, when it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle. The game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.

The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.

nfl football players     nfl football players     nfl football players

More Football Jokes and Quotes

Football is not a matter of life and death.
It's much more serious than that.
Bill Shankly

Hollywood made a movie of my life. The film had me proposing to my wife on the football field. I would never misuse a football field that way.
Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch

A famous football coach and his wife were talking...
Wife: You love football more than me.
Football coach: You're right, wife, but I love you more than baseball and basketball.

A famous coach tells the story of going to church before a big game. There he saw a player from the other team, lighting a candle and saying a prayer. As soon as the player left, the coach sneaked over to the candle and blew it out.

The Football Diet???? They say you have to walk the length of a football field to burn the calories in one M&M.

I hope life brings you much success. I wish you a very happy day.
-----     Surfer Sam  

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