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56 Funny Reasons Why Men Are Different From Women
Men are from Mars and Life is Good to Them.
If you're a man, life is extra good to you. When you wake up every morning, you've got lots to be happy about. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Viva la difference! In the interests of creating worldwide peace and understanding, mull over these humorous, awesome reasons why men are different from women.
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Your booty is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
- Hot wax never comes near your tender areas.
- Same work, more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
- Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
- You can be President.
- Your pals can be trusted never to ask you, "So, notice anything different?"
- One mood, ALL the time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
- You can leave the motel bed unmade.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, you can still be friends.
- Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You can never be pregnant.
- You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- No maxi-pads.
- You don't mooch off other people's desserts.
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
- The world is your urinal.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
- You have freedom of choice about growing a mustache.
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
I wish you much success in life.
I hope you have a very happy day.
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Why Men Are Different From Women
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