Follow Sam
Simple, Easy, Free, How To Do It Articles
We're glad you're here!
  Welcome, we're glad you're here.
  HOME FUNNY PICTURES FUNNY STORIES FUNNY JOKES SELF LIFE SPORTS ECARDS GAMES HOROSCOPE
  WEB DESIGN ARTICLES BUSINESS HEALTH TRAVEL INVESTING COLLEGE BIOGRAPHY TECH FOOD MONEY




Funny Quotes
It's a COMEDY ROAST with Funny Insults,
Great Grudges and Famous Quotes.

Heck, we can't all be perfect!

funny quotes and insults
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

funny quotes and insults "He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but... This wasn't it!!"
- Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

Funny picture "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in reply

"Interpreter! Interpreter! How do you say the opposite of Vive Le France?"
- Winston Churchill, on Charles de Gaulle

"A sheep in sheep's clothing."
- Winston Churchill, on Clement Atlee

"There but for the grace of God, goes God."
- Winston Churchill, on Stafford Cripps

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but, hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill, on Stanley Baldwin

It's All Greek to Me !!
Famous Quotes from the Greeks

funny quotes and insultsTo the man who is afraid everything rustles.
-Sophocles C.496-406 B.C.

The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
-Sophocles C496-406B.C.

No human thing is of serious importance.
- Plato C428-348B.C.

The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.
Aristotle Onassis 1900-1975A.D.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
Euripedes, 485-406 B.C.

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.
-Demosthenes C384-322B.C.

Well begun is half done.
-Aristotle 384-322 B.C.


I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.

Return to the complete index of funny jokes.


Thanks for sharing! You make good things happen.
Share



Simple, Easy, Free, How To Do It Articles - Health, Money,
Success, Investing, Business, Happiness,Technology, Music, Books, Biography,Celebrities




  FRONT PAGE FUNNY PICTURES FUNNY STORIES FUNNY JOKES Q & A
QUOTES VIDEOS MUSIC VIDEOS GUESTBOOK TAXES MILLION $ BLOGS