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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Funny Short Stories
Converting a Bear
Oh, this is so good!! 
A rabbi, a priest and a minister got together for lunch
once a week.
One day, one made the comment that preaching to people
wasn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a
bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an
experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to
it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the
experience.
Father Flannery went first. His arm was in a sling, he
was using crutches to walk, and his arms and legs were heavily bandaged.
"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a
bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary
Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next
week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair,
with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip.
In his best fire and
brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't
sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to READ to
my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with
me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled DOWN one
hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So, fast as
I could, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you
said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day
praising Jesus."
They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying
in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and
monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it,
circumcision might not have been the best way to start."
Great to see you here.
I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.
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