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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files... The Best Funny Short Stories The Celebration
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the wife keeps staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sits alone at a nearby table.
The husband asks, "Do you know him?"
"Yes," sighs the wife, "He's my ex-boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the husband, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

Great to see you here. I hope life brings you much success. I wish you a very happy day.
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