|
From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Funny Short Stories
The Best Divorce
She spent the first day sadly packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down on the floor in the dining room by
candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of
shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few
half-eaten shrimp and caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She
replaced the end caps on the curtain rods and cleaned up the
kitchen. Then she moved out.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything from cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off
poison gas, during which they had to move out for a few days. They even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually the local realtors refused to return their
calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her they were selling the house but did not tell the real reasons why. She listened
politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing
to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea about the smell, he agreed on a price that
was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to
sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers
delivered the paperwork for her to sign.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the
curtain rods.
I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, DON'T YOU?
Great to see you here.
I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.
>> Please Return to the Top.
| Put this info and link on your blog!
Just click, copy and paste.
|  |
|
Back to the Index of Best Funny Short Stories
Share this page with someone, by Email, Twitter, Digg, StumbleUpon, and your favorite social site
- Annuity Insurance Retirement Plan offers guaranteed monthly payments for life.
- LASIK Laser Eye Surgery. See the world without glasses or contact lenses.
- The Fastest Cars in the World. Super sports cars, exotic, fast and road-legal.
- Should I sign a prenuptial agreement When do I need a prenuptial agreement
- Help for Acne. Medicine, treatment and cures for your acne.
- Help for Depression. Signs and symptoms, causes and cures, treatment and antidepressants.
- Make Money with the Best Stock Investments The ten best stocks so far this year.
- Small business Startup. Strategy and planning for your first business.
- Stock Investment with Warren Buffett. How to make money like a billionaire.
- Free Money for College. Claim your college cash.
- Free Affiliate Marketing Programs Make money online.
- Make a Legal Will with or without an attorney.
- How to Sell My House and Get the Most Money.
- ETF Exchange Traded Funds a great investment.
- A Diamond Engagement Ring How to buy diamonds.
- Great American novels and famous writers.
- Start a New Small Business. Best new small business start-up ideas, planning and opportunities.
- How to Get Customers to Your Website. Free Ways to Market a Small Business
- Investing Successfully in Gold What you've always wanted to know about gold.
- Famous Diets and how they work.
- Family Genealogy. Research your family tree and discover your roots.
- Famous Baseball Players and Their Teams. Baseball stars become our heroes.
- Lose Weight with Super Foods. You need to read this.
- Pay Off Credit Card Debt Get out of credit card debt! Enjoy life again.
- Get Free Ringtones. Personalize your cell phone.
- Find the Best Lawyer. Get the job done right.
- How Retirement Plans Work. Your best retirement savings strategy.
- Get Relief from Your Allergies. Allergies, their symptoms and relief.
- Free Home Foreclosure Help. You have options and legal rights.
- Home Staging Tips Sell Your House Fast. Attract more buyers and more money.
- What Do My Dreams Mean?
- Burn a Free Music CD. Burning is how you transfer data from the computer to the CD.
- Best Stock Picks of the Decade. Someone is making big money.
- Relief for Stress, Anxiety and Tension. Stress is the cause of illness and unhappiness.
- Digital Video Camera Camcorder. Buy and enjoy the best.
- Best Cell Phone Plans and Service. The best cell phone plan and service.
- Headache Cures and Relief. The causes of headaches and ways to soothe the pain.
- Do You Need a Business Corporation? Protect yourself and get a tax shelter.
- Stock Investment with Warren Buffett. How to make money like a billionaire.
- Become a Millionaire The 4-Hour Workweek.
- Make Money. Own a Franchise Business. Be your own boss and build equity.
- 401k and IRA Retirement Plans. Start now and retire wealthy.
- Best Student Loans A Federal or Private Student Loan Pays for Your College Education
- Famous Photographers and Their Work Exploring the world in photos.
- Buy 500 Companies for $1,000. Guaranteed average returns with a low cost stock index mutual fund.
- Start Your Own New Small Business Opportunities are waiting!
- The Happiness Coach. Happiness can be learned, like tennis or handwriting.
- Two Miracle Foods that can make you younger . Good news for healthy living.
|
|
Our Magazine
Blogs, Podcasting