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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Funny Short Stories
Football Fan
You can replace Cincinnati with the name of your favorite city. The joke still works.
A guy from Cincinnati dies and is sent to Hell. He had been a horrible
man his entire life. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a
sledgehammer. To make it worse, he cranks up the temperature and the
humidity.
After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to
see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Cincinnatian
is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune.
The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've
turned the heat way up, it's humid, and you're crushing rocks....Why are you so
happy?"
The Cincinnatian, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies,
"This is great! It reminds me of August in Cincinnati -- hot, humid, a good
place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"
The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Cincinnatian's
remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving
rain and torrential wind. Soon Hell is a wet, muddy mess.
Walking in mud up
to his knees with dust blowing into his eyes, the Cincinnatian is happily
slogging thru the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks.
Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions. The
Cincinnatian replies, "This is great! Just like April in Cincinnati. It
reminds of working out in the yard with spring planting!"
The devil is now completely baffled but more determined to make the
Cincinnatian suffer. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly Hell is
blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make the
Cincinnatian unhappy, the devil checks in on him.
He is again aghast at
what he sees. The Cincinnatian is dancing, singing, and twirling his
sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.
"How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero??!?!?!??"
screams the devil.
Jumping up and down, the Cincinnatian throws a snowball at the devil
and yells, "Hell's frozen over!! This means the Bengal's won the Super
Bowl!!"
Great to see you here.
I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.
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