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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Funny Short Stories
The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at
the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the
attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular
floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back
down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good
looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous and
help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims. "I can hardly stand it."
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous,
help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Meanwhile, across the street, a new Wives Store has recently
opened.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited.....
Great to see you here.
I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.
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