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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Funny Short Stories
The Movie Fan

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. When he arrived at the ticket booth, the ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?"

The old farmer said, "That there is my pet rooster, Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes."

"I'm sorry sir," said the ticket agent. "We can't allow animals in the theater."

The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his overalls. He returned to the ticket booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater.

He sat in the only empty seat, next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and soon the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer was compelled to unbutton his fly so that Chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie.

"Marge," whispered Mildred.

"What?" said Marge.

"I think the guy next to me is a pervert."

"What gives you that idea?" asked Marge.

"He undid his pants and has his thing out," whispered Mildred.

"Well, don't worry about it," said Marge. "At our age, it ain't like we've haven't seen 'em all."

"I thought so, too," admitted Mildred, "but this one's eatin' my popcorn!"

   

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