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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Funny Short Stories
The Ostrich
A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asked them for their orders.
The man said, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
She turned to the ostrich. "What's yours?" she asked the ostrich.
"I'll have the same," said the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returned with the order. "That will be $9.40, please." And the man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich came again and the man said, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich said, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reached into his pocket and paid with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two entered again. "The usual?" asked the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," said the man.
"Same," said the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brought the order and said, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulled the exact change out of his pocket and placed it on the table.
The waitress could not hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," said the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" said the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," said the man.
The waitress asked, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighed, paused and answered, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
Great to see you here.
I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.
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