Short Funny Jokes... I Love Funny Jokes
Funny Love, Marriage and Dating Jokes

You might be a Redneck if ...
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

When I married Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was "Always."

I pretend to work and they pretend to pay me.

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

Bertrand Russell said, "Even in civilized mankind, faint traces of monogamous instinct can be perceived."

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just two, but how they got in there beats me.

Dorothy Parker said, "She speaks six languages, and can't say no in any of them."

A woman had a crush on a guy. She wanted to see him so bad, she kept walking her dog back and forth, back and forth, in front of his house.
She did it so many times, she finally killed the tree.

The husband came home early one morning. He was getting undressed when his wife said, "Where are your shorts?"
The husband exclaimed, "My God, I've been robbed."

THE TOP COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG THIS WEEK
If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

Georgia ran around quite a bit while she was single.
When she got married, her friends threw wild rice.

My boyfriend wanted me to pose nude for him.
I told him, "No, I'm not a model."
He said, "That's okay, I'm not an artist either."

Gene Autry said, "Until I quit making movies,
most fans thought dance hall girls actually danced."

The swimsuit model said, "This gorgeous diamond I'm wearing is the Rabinowitz diamond. You know, all big jewels carry a curse with them. And the curse that goes with this diamond is Mr. Rabinowitz."    

May life bring you much success.
I hope you have a very happy day.

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