Short Funny Jokes, Blondes, Rednecks, Cheating, Irony and Ogden Nash
Collecting jokes is an obsession. The only cure for it is to pass them along, so they don't get stale. Here are short funny jokes with topics like blondes, Rednecks, cheating, irony and Ogden Nash. We're all just kids at heart.
You might be a Redneck if you and your dog use the same tree.
Take your pick and take your chances.
- You might be a Redneck if.....
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
- You might be a Redneck if..... Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
- Didja know? Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
- Gender Issues. Are Freezer Bags Male or Female? Freezer bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
- Funny Business... Why do people point at their wrist when they ask your the time, but don't point at their pants when they ask where the toilet is?
- I asked a blonde how many seconds are in a year.
The blond answered, "Well, there's
got to be twelve seconds in a year: January 2nd, February 2nd, March2nd... "
- I asked my friend, "You've got a fur coat? Yucky. How many animals did you have to kill to get that coat?"
She answered, " Not as many as I had to sleep with to get it."
- Ogden Nash said, "Incompatibility can be a good thing in a marriage, if he's got income and she's pattable."
- There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.
- Funny Business... If Walmart made wine, they would call it "Peanut Noir."
- Last night my wife met me at the front door.
She was wearing a romantic negligee.
The only trouble was, she was coming home.
- I've learned about life that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big bank account.
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- The best way to have the last word is to apologize.
- You may be a Redneck if ...
You and your dog use the same tree.
May life bring you much success.
I hope you have a very happy day.
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