Short Funny Jokes... I Love Funny Jokes
Funny Kids and Jobs Jokes and Puns

I asked a blonde, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' 
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

Nostalgia... Do you remember when milk was delivered to your home in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers?
Do you remember party lines?
Do you remember newsreels before the movie?

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

When the help wanted ad asks for "A fast learner."
What that really means is, "You will get no training from us."

What you learn from your kids...
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

My friend got arrested for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides.

What happens if you put a slinky on an escalator?

One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.

As Herman was driving, his wife called. She said, " I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Gender Issues. Is a TRAIN male or female?
Trains are definitely male,
because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

Lola said, "I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them."

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

What you learn from your kids...
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef !!    

May life bring you much success.
I hope you have a very happy day.

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