Short Funny Jokes... I Love Funny Jokes
Doctors, Lawyers, Football and Funny Business

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Question: Why did the doctor tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Answer: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.
Thomas Fuller, 1608-1661, said that.

When you work here, you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred"

The man who wrote The Hokey Pokey died.
They tried to get him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in.
And then the trouble started.

My wife is such a bad cook.
If we leave dental floss in the kitchen,
the roaches hang themselves.

Pat: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.
Mike: And did he?
Pat: Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.

The Blonde said, "I want to be the first person on the sun."
"Won't you burn up?" I asked.
She said, "I'm not stupid. I'm going at night."

THE TOP COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG THIS WEEK
She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

The doctor can bury his mistakes,
but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines.
The architect Frank Lloyd Wright said that.

In this world you only need two tools.....WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Oh my !! You might have a BAD Lawyer if...
During your initial consultation she tries to sell you Amway.

The word "genius: isn't applicable in football.
A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback said it.

The old man ate his meal, but the little old lady didn't eat a thing.
The waiter asked her, "What are you waiting for?"
She said, "The TEETH. "

Sign in a CHINESE Pet Store:
"Buy one dog, get one flea."

What does our football team have in common with possums?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.    

May life bring you much success.
I hope you have a very happy day.

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